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In an era in which time is money and “fast” is almost always better than “thorough”, it seems everyone is talking more and thinking about what they say less.  The problem is that while our priorities may have evolved, people’s interpretation skills and emotional needs haven’t exactly kept up.  Though on a logical level we may understand that something seemingly offensive that you said may have just come across that way, logic (and a logical evaluation of your intentions) is not most peoples’ primary response.

Disagreements and hurt feelings can therefore arise not from what you say as much as how you say it.  I would even tend to argue that these kind of misunderstandings happen more in the digital age than ever before because an email or instant message doesn’t transmit emotion and tone particularly effectively.  It leaves the recipient to interpret what you said any way they please or anyway their mood at the time sways him.

So in this increasingly fast-based business world, how do you make sure you get across what you need to say quickly but without upsetting your co-workers or subordinates?

1. Think of the goal of what you’re trying to say and the way you want to say it before your mouth opens. Phrase it in your head (or in an email draft) what you want to say.
2. Ask yourself whether what you’ve just come up with can possibly be interpreted in a different way and whether that’s detrimental to your goal. Always look at what you’re trying to communicate from the perspective of the recipient.  Is it ambiguous?  Could it be taken out of context?
3. Forget what you composed for a second and reread it from scratch, checking for tone. If you were to receive what you’ve just thought of objectively, how would you interpret the writer’s intentions, as symbolized by tone.

Tone is everything.  Having a calm and positive tone, no matter whether your message is positive or not, changes the reception of your message.  Tone comes across in everything, even if you don’t intend it to.

A brief demonstration:

A: I want everyone to come up with 50 ideas each for tomorrow.

B: Let’s be ambitious about this and try to come up with a crazy number of different ideas as possible.   How does 50 sound to everyone?  I know we can do it.

(I am the boss of you and you will hate me vs. I’m your motivator and just a part of your group.)

A: I’m horrified that after all the work I put in, you would throw me under the bus like that.

B: At the last meeting, you told the VP that nothing had been done on the project.  However, I have actually completed it last week.  Can I fill you and the VP in on the status so we’re all on the same page?

(I’m a drama queen vs. I’m going to assume you’re not an a-hole and that there was just a miscommunication somewhere… even though that may not be true, you’ll get my drift.)

The message in each one of these sets of examples is the same.  However, the way your recipients accept your message in each case is very different.  The reaction they will have to your message and the opinion they will have of you as a boss, colleague, or person will be very different.  It may not be necessary to change the way you communicate, but it is absolutely necessary to be aware of it.

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I apologize for the long hiatus from blogging.  I’ve been in transition for about a month in terms of work (away from an old job and into academics) as well as location (New York to Boston).  But now that I’m in and settled I am officially back.

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There are now so many books and magazines on management that the whole genre is considered pulp.  The only thing more amazing than the number of publications is the number of differing, and some times conflicting, theories on how to manage.  However, there is one commonality between all of them–all management books are written by managers.

This strikes me as odd.  Every good businessperson knows that the best marketing research for a product comes from data provided by the ultimate user of that product.  Marketing experts, no matter how much experience they have in the field, will usually (if they’re smart) defer to this source when it is available.  Considering that logic, then, why is it not widely accepted for subordinates–the ultimate consumers of management skills (or lack thereof)–to express their views on what good management is?

This is why I am starting this blog.  As someone who has had a job since the ripe old age of 8, I have almost always had a boss, despite the size and structure of the company I worked for.  I have had amazing managers and have had terrible managers and as a result, I now have a fundamental understanding of what I need from a manager in order to be the most productive, to deliver the most value to my firm, to have the most job satisfaction, and to have the best working relationship with my boss.

Here are my thoughts.  I hope there will be something here that maybe all managers (new and old) could benefit from.