By
Alisa, August 24, 2010
Email has gotten a lot of flack for making phone and face-to-face conversations, which are naturally more “personal”, obsolete. I strongly believe, however, that each still has its own place in the business world, and each is used to accomplish very different things. I would even go on to argue that email has singlehandedly made business more polite and efficient.
When you are sent a professional email, you’re really being done a favor. The sender is basically saying, “I could call you and you would have to talk to me NOW or you can look at this email, react however you want to, gather your thoughts, and respond on your own time.” Additionally, what an email does, as opposed to a phone call or a meeting, is allow you to make better decisions without wasting people’s time. Back in the day, when someone had to call you with a problem, you’d have to give an answer to that person immediately or ask them to hold or to call back. There’s something very unsatisfying about that to the caller. Now, if that person were to send you an email instead, you can do your homework and respond once with an educated answer. And, since the sender accepts that he’s sending you an email that he has no control over after its left his outbox, he’s not going to be disappointed if you don’t respond within the next 10 seconds (unless he’s one of those people that hit “refresh” on their inbox every 5 seconds…).
For those and many more reasons, people feel insulted when you simply ignore their emails (that are actually waiting on your reply). The thought that goes through the sender’s mind is, “dammit, I was trying to not waste your time in scheduling a meeting because I know you’re busy but now you’re forcing my hand. #Lose.” So, when you think you’re too busy to answer a solitary email, just think of how much busier you’re going to get when that person stops being respectful of your time and starts demanding answers.
Therefore, do yourself and everyone a favor and answer your G-damn email.
Many managers actually forget the “group” part of “group project” seemingly often. They pay a lot of lip service to “teamwork” without actually knowing what it means. Teamwork on a time-set, clear-goaled project is oftentimes quite different than teamwork in an organization at large.
Step#1: Understand what being staffed on a group project is like for a peon?
- It’s a change from your ordinary duties. Most managers don’t realize the psychological effect of this fact on an employee. After doing a particular job for an extended period of time, a change of scenery–no matter what that change is–is often a welcome respite from the monotony. This change of responsibilities, perspectives, etc. has the effect of raising employees’ productivity and motivation to do good work.
- It makes one feel a little special. While it’s not true in some cases, being pulled in on a special project usually an unofficial pat on the back, saying to employees, “we value you and therefore would appreciate your input on this initiative.” That makes an employee feel pretty damn good from the outset. However, what it also creates is an expectation that one’s opinions are going to then be heard and appreciated.
Step#2: Run your team project accordingly.
- Keep everyone involved (beyond the brainstorming phase). What tends to happen is that the group meets up and spends a bunch of time discussing options, strategies, and perspectives. Then comes the time for action and all of a sudden a only subset of the group (if not just the group leader) is responsible for taking the next steps. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not enough to just listen to an opinion; you have to let people act on them. Otherwise, they’ll always just be opinions. As stated above, people are willing to get work done and considering you picked them (or someone in the know did), those people are generally trustworthy.
- Make sure all members participate in the major decision making and know of external decisions affecting their work before the rest of the company does. One of the worst feelings of betrayal I’ve had as an employee is when I, with my assigned project group, met with a larger group of employees and managers and witnessed the project leader get up and say that the group had accomplished such-and-such, and that was the first time I, as well as most everyone else in the group, had heard of anything being final. This partly goes back to my point about not pretending other people have control over decisions when they don’t. However, it is sometimes embedded in the corporate structure and culture that only project leaders report to higher ups and serve as liaisons. But, this does not mean that the project leader doesn’t pull the group aside first thing after he hears the news to give them the primary heads up (so that a. they know and b. don’t sit in these types of meetings with deer-in-headlights expressions). Additionally, by keeping them in the dark like this, you make your group members feel anything but special.
- Allow all group members to take turns presenting and taking credit for group achievements. It’s easy for the project leader to take credit — he is clearly responsible for the actions of the team. What separates a good leader from a bad one, however, is his ability to share the credit and allow others to bask in its glory. Allowing each member of the team to be a representative of the group at some point in the group’s life makes each person feel like the team leader, which obviously makes him or her more satisfied with the group experience, regardless of how it turned out practically.
Fear, to take Shrek’s example, is like an onion. The fear that you observe in others is just the outer covering and a culmination of much more deep-rooted fears. People are also not particularly keen on revealing to you their deepest, darkest insecurities. Therefore, in order to manage (and manage away) fear, you have to strip back the layers to find out what is at the root of a frightened person’s (often irrational) thought process.
The goal is to keep asking questions to figure out the core fear.
Sandra is afraid to put her name in for a promotion or transfer.
You ask, why?
She says it’s because she’s afraid she might not get it, obviously.
You ask what she is afraid will happen if she doesn’t.
She says she’s afraid it will put her current position at risk.
You ask why she thinks it is at risk.
She says she is afraid her boss doesn’t like her and would take the chance to be rid of her.
You ask why she thinks her boss would be that petty.
She says it’s because she’s afraid she hasn’t been working up to his standards.
This conversation can go on and on but what I want to illustrate here is that her fear of applying for a new job doesn’t lie in the fear of not getting that job but in the performance of her current one. Fear is therefore not what you think it is – it’s usually much deeper.
How deep? Fear of anything external lies in very personal issues and insecurities, which we all have, whether it be commitment issues, lack of self-esteem, performance anxiety. The goal of talking to a person experiencing any kind of fear is to make them become conscious of what is causing the fear and trying to address that core directly. In the above example, Sandra’s issue is that she’s not confident in her work product in her current job, which inhibits her from ever progressing. You need to work with people like Sandra to either a) make her proud of her work or b) get her to improve her work. If you attack the core, which is likely responsible for multiple other fears, you can not only cure the fear but also prevent fear going forward.
Dictators are insecure
Larry David, who I’m sure is not hurting for money, drives a Toyota Prius. Most skinny girls don’t actually wear skin-tight clothing. Contrary to the popular idiom, when you got it, you don’t feel the need to flaunt it. It is therefore also true that managers who are confident about their authority do not feel the need to viciously and continuously remind you of it. Dictators are just insecure about their leadership and their command of your respect. Therefore, another way to cool a dictator is to stroke his or her ego (regardless of how distasteful that may seem to you). If you complement your dictator’s handling of the last meeting (sincerely) or support his proposal, he will cool down. He will assume you already appreciate him and his awesomeness and he no longer needs to put the fear of G-d in you to achieve those results.
Dictators don’t trust people
If you look closely, you will probably notice that your dictator is not exactly a people person. The command and control mechanism comes about because of a dictator’s innate distrust of other people. The lack of trust can stem from a variety of reasons, which a psychologist would better be able to identify, but all are equally damaging to his leadership style. The way to deal with this is to purposely work on gaining the dictator’s trust. Go above and beyond her requirements for projects, anticipate her needs, and support her when you notice her getting ragged on. Becoming an ally and a friend of the dictator may seem repulsive and fake, but it’s important to train yourself to believe—truly believe—that each person is interesting and worth knowing, including your dictator, if you are to ever succeed in the business world. I say that because fakeness is the worst tactic. You can’t butter up to a dictator—she’s way too smart for that and will see right through you. Find commonalities to start relating to her instead.
Dictators. Every company has them. They are the managers that make your life a living hell. They are the ones that give you superhuman workloads and scoff at your need for food and sleep. They are the ones that pass down their will to you and are disgusted by your need for discussion and consensus. They have a short temper, a shorter attention span and a practically non-existent tolerance for what they perceive to be ineptitude. Organizational behaviorists attempt to make dictators sound less menacing by labeling them “Drivers,” but it’s mostly a ploy to avoid being accused of criticizing.
The reason why people have so much trouble dealing with these dictators is because they’re afraid. Dictators are menacing and sometimes bullying. It is much easier to build rapport with your coworkers by complaining about a mutually despised boss than to do anything about it. Because a dictator is also incredibly stubborn, fixing the situation seems like an impossible task. However, all the fear, all the hesitancy and all the barriers fall away once you get into the dictator’s head.
Managers become dictators when they’re worried about task completion.
It’s not necessarily that dictators don’t care about people; it’s that they care about tasks more. Dictators are goal driven. They see goal achievement as the only measure of their “success.” Once you realize this, it seems logical that dictators get on their pulpit when they are worried about the team’s ability to complete the task to the satisfaction of higher-ups. As such, everything else—including your feelings—take a back seat. You can turn Mr. Hyde back into Dr. Jekyll by giving him tangible assurances that everything is on track. If you are working on schedule and are making progress, provide the dictator with status updates regularly without being asked. If you are falling behind, give the non-fluffy reasons why you are (i.e. that there is 40 hours of work and 2 days with 24 hours in each to do it in versus you’re tired and overworked). What you’ll see is that the dictator will become a little more relieved and if he is relieved, he’s not going to ride you.
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